"R-Rin…I want to ask you something…"
"Eh? Well what is it??"
"I…er…was wanting to know if you'd go on a date with me….um…if you'd like that is."
It's been exactly one year since Len had asked me that question. And here I am waiting for him to get his act together and meet me for our anniversary dinner.
I knew he would do this- he's always late for our normal dates- but for some reason I can't help but feel let down.
To think he would change for me… Of course I can't stay mad at him for too long.
Is it possible that this is why it hurts?
I should leave, I should let him go to my house and find me there, crying my eyes out…maybe then he'll change.
But was I going to do that?
I mean, I've been waiting out here for an hour already…another one won't hurt.
"AH! Kaito!! Quit it!!"
My head instantly turned towards the sound.
"Sorry Mei…I couldn't help myself…you just look too gorgeous right now."
Tears welled up in my eyes and I tore myself away from the couple. They seemed so in love…. It was so sweet.
I'm getting my hopes up again.
Len would only do that if he were in one of his perverted moods.
Only another 55 minutes to wait….
I was startled awake by a warm hand laying itself on my shoulder
"You're going to get kidnapped if you keep falling asleep in public places like that you know."
Instantly, the temptation to ask if he even cared popped into my head.
"And if that happened I might as well die." My boyfriend kissed my cheek, hugging me tight.
"You're late." Though it didn't out as bitter as I had hoped, Len noticed.
"I know, and I'm sorry. It won't happen again, I promise." He said this almost automatically, as if he'd rehearsed it so many times before.
It was just something to try and get me to be quiet and forget about it. Truly, I knew they were just untruthful words.
He was never truly sorry…he never will be. Somehow, that thought voiced itself before I could pull it back and lock it up in my head.
"You don't need to lie to me Len. I know you're not sorry, so just save your breath."
My boyfriend pulled back in surprise.
"Rin? Are you feeling alright?" he put his hand to my forehead.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Despite my efforts, I felt a wave of heat flush across my cheeks.
"Look at me," Len pushed my chin up, forcing me to look him dead in the eyes. "I honestly can say that I'm sorry. I made reservations and everything- just like we planned."
"I-I…I need to be somewhere…just call me when you actually want to care about us, okay Len."
"NO. You've done this since our first date, I KNOW you're not sorry. I-I…" my voice choked up and without another word I ran. I didn't care where I was going; I just had to leave….
I couldn't let him see my tears
----2 Days Later----
"I love you Rin…
I love you". He said that to me…he lied to me.
He said he cared…. But I can't find it in my heart to believe him.
It hurts to believe him…. I shut my apartment door behind me and allowed myself to slump against its chilled wood. Tears began to fall from my eyes just as they had yesterday. I still love Len. I don't want to. After all this shit he's put me through why should I…?
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard my cell phone ring. Instinctively, I reached for it and looked on the screen.
No missed calls, no new messages
Two days after our fight and he still hasn't called.
I knew he didn't love me.
Do you think I should call and apologize? I mean I was the one who left him…
I quickly dried my tears with my sleeve and typed up Len's number.
But what if he's already deleted my number…what if he asks who I am? Then that would make it seem like I'm desperate!
I exited the call screen and slipped my phone back into my pocket with a sigh. I guess this is it….I'm no longer the lover of Len Kagamine…
What made him change his mind? It's not like he never yelled at me before or after one of our dates…. he honestly had it coming to him.
Was it because I don't speak formally enough?
Or because I'm sometimes restless?
Maybe it's because sometimes….I…enjoy using *"sentence enhancers" when they're not needed?
Is it because I get too jealous and proud?
I looked to my full length mirror in the corner of the room, finding every little problem- picking myself apart strand by strand.
Is it because I look childish? Or because I'm shorter? No, it has to be that I don't have a sexy enough body! Right? Or maybe he just doesn't like my hair color….OH! It's because I can't control myself, isn't it?
I just wish he would tell me…I know now I can't live without Len…I'll let him change me- mold me however he wants…I promise I will!
*It's an inside joke…sorry. XD My GUMI friend and I use it as a generalization of curse words ^_^*